1. 1. How did you become a sex and relationship writer?

   It started when I was a teenager in Georgia. This was pre-Sex and the City, when it was most definitely NOT cool to sleep around. I hated the fact that there were so many double standards - men were studs while women who did the same things were thought of as sluts. So I would literally go into Wal-Mart and buy like seven pregnancy tests at once for my friends even before I'd lost my virginity. Later, in New York, I did an article for the NYU student newspaper on Betty Dodson, who was called the Mother of Masturbation. She was amazing, and totally opened my eyes to sexual liberation of women. I learned that taking responsibility for our own sexual pleasure was really important. At the same time, I was having a lot of crazy sexual experiences ... the good, the bad, and the ugly. I don't regret any of them, they taught me so much about what I want - and what I don't want!



2. 2. How did your book deal come about?

   I had been writing the column for The Independent for a year, and the book was a natural evolution of that - it was something I'd been working on for a while. I pitched the idea to a terrific agent, and she took it from there.

3. 3. Why did you move to London?

   It was a combination of things: I had been working as a gossip columnist, and really wanted to write a sex column. But there were already a lot of talented girls doing the same thing that I wanted to do in New York, and none at major newspapers in London yet. I'd also met an amazing man who I thought was The One (he dumped me five days after I moved to the UK!) Also, I was ready for a new adventure. Unfortunately, I hadn't factored in the fact that I had no job, no work visa and knew absolutely no one!

4. 4. Do Americans and the British have different attitudes to sex?

   The Brits have a reputation for having a stiff upper lip but actually have a fantastic sense of humour when it comes to sex. Also the 'rules' are different. Dating is much less formal in England: You are more likely to drunkenly stumble into bed with someone after a night at the pub than go on a dinner date. And after that drunken fumble, or even a kiss, you are a girlfriend. In the States, it's assumed that you are not monogamous until you have 'The Talk' where you decide that you are boyfriend/girlfriend. In the UK it's the other way around. There is no talk. There's just some awkwardness, then you get together, then you become a couple.



5. 5. Why did you write a sequel, Breaking the Rules?

   Two reasons really: The sequel was part of a two-book deal, but also, the story continued naturally because the column continued, and my life kept evolving. I got trapped into one of those Mr Big-style on-off relationships with a guy and fell into the trap of thinking that maybe he was 'The One' - I guess we've all been there! So Breaking The Rules, while it still has lots of sex, is probably more about the big relationship questions: Could I handle marriage and monogamy? Is it for everyone? That kind of thing ...

6. 6. Which Sex and the City character do you most relate to?

   I'm probably a combination of Samantha and Carrie. I definitely obsess over things way too much (a combination of being a female and a relationship writer!) and Samantha's sex drive. Miranda was a bit too harsh, and Charlotte is just annoying. I loved Sex and the City, but I hated the way the show ended. The real-life Carrie, Candace Bushnell, did not marry the real-life Mr Big!! That would so never have happened and I think women should keep that in mind!

7. 7. Is there a secret to writing well about sex?

   I'm not sure - I guess I would say, put in the porn-style dirty words. And avoid anything that sounds clinical, or too flowery. It's often unintentionally hilarious (who wants to hear about 'quivering mounds' or 'his purple love truncheon'?)

8. 8. Do you ever censor yourself when writing about your own life? Is there anyone you wouldn't want reading your books?

   I don't... My mom reads the books, but I put strategically placed Post-Its over the sex scenes. There are a lot of them in there! I also change names, and identifying details to the point where no one reading the books could ever identify the men in there. I don't mind poking fun at myself but I would never want to embarrass anyone else.

9. 9. Was it fun working as a gossip columnist?

   I loved it. For a girl from South Georgia, it didn't get any better than going to Sundance and hanging out at fashion shows. And talking to Clive Owen. But I wouldn't want to be doing it when I'm 45. I don't have the stamina!

10. 10. Tell us about your third book - a novel this time.

    It's a black comedy about a female serial killer. I call it 'Bridget Jones's Diary meets American Psycho', but my agent says it's probably more like Kill Bill.

11. 11. What is the thing you miss most about the US?

    I miss the little things. Outdoor shopping malls with great weather. People who say 'Have a nice day' in stores ... and mean it. Oh, and Cool Whip. You can't get that in the UK. I even tried to get it shipped. Not happening.

12. 12. Have you found love yet?

    I'm seeing someone great now but I never say that anyone is The One. I've been burned on that before!

13. 13. Does anyone you slept with know it's them you are writing about?

    Sometimes, and the men I date who know me well trust me enough to handle it appropriately. I need to date a very secure man!

14. 14. Why do you feel the need to lay out all of your personal life for the world to read?

    Well, lots of authors use their personal lives as inspiration for their work. A lot of what I write is comedy, and lots of stand-up comedians use their lives as material ... I don't think it's that uncommon. It's how I relate to people, and the letters I've gotten from women who say it's helped them believe that they don't feel so alone in having sexual experiences makes me feel it's worth it. Having said that, I don't plan on writing about my sex life forever! My third book will have plenty of sex in it but won't be focused on me.

15. 15. What are you most proud about with regards to your career?

    I'm proud that I wrote the books, because any time you take a chance in life it can be a huge risk. I'm a sensitive soul, and it can be tough to wake up to hate mail saying 'Get ready to die alone' (I also get a LOT of supportive mail, so fortunately these guys are the minority!) But I'm glad I followed my passion.

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